Avatar vs Halloween II: Land Of The Lost

I got these cheaply made wallets at a 99 cent store a few years back simply because the images on them amused me. And now I share them with you.



Do you remember that part in Avatar with Will Ferrell and Danny McBride? Me neither. It's probably because they weren't in it. I'll admit that I enjoyed Avatar, but do you think their inclusion would have made the movie better?



Then there's this masterpiece. Interesting font choices here. You may notice what appears to be Michael Myers wielding his kitchen knife in the bottom left corner of the image. So is this a face-off between James Cameron's Avatar and Rob Zombie's probably terrible (I only saw the first one. Malcolm McDowell and Brad Dourif couldn't even make that movie worth watching.) Halloween II? Or is this actually the second Avatar vs Halloween movie? If so, did the first one really do well enough to warrant a sequel?

I'm not really sure what the story is behind these, but Avatar, Halloween II, and Land Of The Lost all came out in 2009, so it's obvious to me that whoever was behind these wallets was trying to take advantage of what they hoped would be successful movies. At least one of them was a financial success. If you're into mashups of movies that no one cares about anymore, you might be able to still find these, but don't expect to actually use them as wallets. The first time I opened one of these to use it, the velcro ripped right out of it. It's pretty sad when your velcro is stronger than your stitching.

Bloody Dreddful

I was recently reading about filmmaker Danny Cannon, and I found something that completely baffled me.

When Cannon was a teenager, he entered a contest in the comic 2000 AD to design a poster for a possible Judge Dredd movie. Inspired by Blade Runner, his poster said it would be directed by Ridley Scott, have Harrison Ford playing Dredd, and have Daryl Hannah playing Anderson. I saw the poster itself, and I found it rather underwhelming. I was expecting to see a drawing or painting of Ford as Dredd. Someone who's good at art needs to make a new version of that poster. I can't because I suck at art. Anyway, I'm way more interested in the concept. It sounds like it would have made an awesome movie. Harrison Ford playing Dredd? I never say this, but... Shut up and take my money!

Now here's where it gets confusing. Cannon went on to direct the 1995 Judge Dredd movie starring Sylvester Stallone. Why didn't he try to make it like a Ridley Scott movie and cast Harrison Ford? How could the guy have that vision and then make that sub-par Stallone movie? I'm so confused. I'm guessing it was studio interference or something.

I was thinking about it, and honestly, that recent Dredd movie with Karl Urban sounds a lot more like Cannon's original concept to me. It's got Anderson, it has a Dredd who is probably about as intense as if Ford had played him, and it definitely has a Blade Runner feel to some extent. Now that I think about it, it seems to me like the people who made 2012's Dredd must have been like "Hey, remember that poster Danny Cannon made for that 2000 AD contest before he made that mediocre Dredd movie? Yeah, the poster was underwhelming, but wasn't the concept cool? Let's make our movie like a modern equivalent of that."

I feel like maybe this post makes me sound like a dick. If for some reason you actually read this, Danny, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be mean. If it wasn't for you, maybe "Dredd Song" by The Cure wouldn't exist, and I like that song. Let's get FroYo sometime.

My Christopher Walken Supercut: He's not dancing.

To cash in on the Christopher Walken Supercut fad, I'm cutting together clips of him playing Russian roulette and clips of him talking to children about hiding uncomfortable hunks of metal up his ass.

Okay, I'm not really doing this.

Maybe they've always been with us.

You've probably seen Ellen's "selfie" from the Academy Awards. I don't know who made this, but I thought it was funny enough to post.

Just so everyone knows, I'm not Laurence Fishburne either. Not yet...

If Lana and Andy Wachowski ever make another movie in The Matrix series, maybe there should be a scene where a character tells Morpheus that he was great in Pulp Fiction. "We don't all look alike!"

2014: The Year Of Chris Pratt

I've been a big fan of Chris Pratt for years because of his role as Andy Dwyer in the television show Parks And Recreation. Since then, I've seen him in a few movies, such as Moneyball and Zero Dark Thirty. Sports movies and war movies typically aren't my cup of tea, and it's not like he had a large role in either movie, but he was quite good in both. I also thought he was hilarious in the trailer for Delivery Man. It looked like a good movie, and I really like seeing Vince Vaughn in a dramatic role (or should I say dramedic role because it is what some would call a dramedy?), so I ended up seeing that when it came out. Pratt had a much larger role than I've previously seen him in, and he was great, but he was still just playing a supporting role.

This year is special for me though as a fan of Pratt. He's the lead in two big movies coming out that I've been very much looking forward to seeing.



Even though I've had a LEGO obsession all of my life, I initially wasn't that interested in The LEGO Movie. The marketing of the movie has completely sold me though, and it's possibly my most anticipated movie of this year. All of the trailers and TV spots have been hilarious. I loved Pratt's character, Emmet, ever since the first teaser trailer, when after a long expository monologue by another character, he says, "I think I got it, but just in case, tell me the whole thing again. I wasn't listening." That's an awesome line, and it was such great delivery. Pratt seems perfect for this character. I am so very excited to get to see The LEGO Movie in a couple of weeks.



Pratt is also in this summer's Marvel movie Guardians Of The Galaxy. Even though I am into comic books, I know almost nothing about these characters. I've been interested in the movie ever since first seeing the beautiful concept art though. Pratt is again the lead in this movie, playing the character Peter Quill, a.k.a. Star-Lord. While most fans probably know Pratt as the slightly chubby Andy Dwyer, he has really transformed his appearance for this movie, much like he did for Zero Dark Thirty. I know I haven't seen any footage of the movie yet, but Pratt looks very believable to me as an action star, and I'm looking forward to seeing him in that kind of role. Guardians Of The Galaxy comes out on August 1st, and I'm really looking forward to it.

Next year we'll be seeing him in Jurassic World as well, but now I'd very much love to see Pratt lead a movie, in a purely dramatic role.

The Philip Seymour Hoffman

July 23, 1967 - February 2, 2014

It was very sad to hear the news today. The guy was an incredible actor.

I don't know if anyone will appreciate this silly story, but the sad news today made me think of it. Back when my best friend lived near a Domino's, we ordered food on their website a few times when I was visiting him. You could design your own custom pizzas, which we liked doing, and then you could give your order a name and save it so that you could order it again if you wanted. The first time we did that, for some reason we named our order after an actor whose performances we admired. We named it The Philip Seymour Hoffman. We later named another order The Dame Judi Dench.